Sweet Peas in a Pod

AdoptionTalk: Amy Eldridge of LWB Speaks

2010-07-14T14:51:00.000-04:00

AdoptionTalk: Amy Eldridge of LWB Speaks

Gotcha Day!

2010-06-15T22:09:00.003-04:00

One year ago today Emerson joined our family. In our home Gotcha Day has typically been a day we set aside just for us as a nuclear family. We give Eliza a small trinket purchased while in China, watch her adoption video footage and let her choose a restaurant for dinner.

Today was basically like the others except different too. Over the past few weeks, as we have had our 12 month post placement visit, evaluations to assess Emerson's developmental progress, and as the season has changed to summer and this date has approached Jeff and I just can't help pausing, probably at least once a day. We exchange looks of wonder, smiles, and remarks as she climbs up a hill, pedals a tricycle, runs as fast as she can, says meaningful phrases and gestures, tries to tell knock-knock jokes, cuts with scissors, pretends she is writing her sister's name, sings songs and recalls parts of books.

This was the little girl who screamed, cried, went crazy when she saw food, said one or two words in Chinese, couldn't feed herself, had never held a crayon, never played in water, fell every few steps.

This little girl now laughs with delight, is silly with her sister, calls to her parents and tells them to "sit down" and "read," loves chocolate and ice cream, playing in the pool and being part of a family. This little girl has far exceeded anyone's expectations during her short year with us. We are amazed at her determination, her beautiful spirit and sweet, sweet personality.

It has been quite a year.

2010-06-09T20:37:00.005-04:00

One year ago today our friend Mark picked us up at 4:30 AM so that we could begin the very long trip to China. For almost a year now I have been meaning to write in more detail about our trip. Our blog was blocked in China so I couldn't post while there. Here is what I recall from our first hours in China during that trip, a time we call "Trip to Bizarro World".

Our flight into Beijing was very rough, major turbulence and a what felt like a plunging plane - I was very scared. On top of that, we knew we were entering China at a time when everyone was very nervous about the swine flu. We knew our temperatures would be checked before leaving the plane and had taken our recommended fever reducers. Our plane finally landed and a few people wearing white coats and masks entered the plane and began to scan everyone's forehead. We had warned Eliza ahead of time, and she handled it well, even though she had slept little and had not eaten much other than the snacks I had packed.

Our flight was released and we then proceded to the nearest restroom and then to another gated area before we knew we had to go to immigration and customs. Although the airconditioning was on, the airport was sticky, hot and humid and the walks were long for people who were exhausted and carrying too much stuff. A flight from Canada had also just arrived so the airport terminal was crowded. We walked through one body temperature scanner, past guards with masks who told us we couldn't take our luggage cart any further. Eliza was too tired to walk, so we picked up our stuff and I carried her to our next stop, where we had to present our passports and incoming flight info, and again another temperature scanner.

We were just about to leave this desk when two people in coats and masks approached us and escorted us to a curtained area off to the left. We were motioned to sit down and glass thermometers were put under my arm and Eliza's. Then we sat, and sat, and sat. During what seemed like forever two young people in white coats looked over our papers and asked another Chinese person questions about our papers. When I tried to explain they gave me little acknowledgement and I learned that this third person was also being detained because of her temperature and was not an employee. Eliza kept dropping the thermometers out from her arm and when I asked why we had to sit so long I was not given a clear answer. Other westerners moved in and out of the space. One young Canadian man tried to chat with me about how wrong the whole situations was. I shushed him and tried to convey that we just wanted to get out of there, which was all I could think about - getting out. Two other young people came in and were checked. They were with a group and had an older gentleman with them who spoke Chinese and left rather quickly. Oh to have an advocate and to be able to speak Chinese! No one seemed to be in charge of this operation and they would not tell me what the temperature was that they thought was too high.

After 20 minutes or so one of the white coats came to me and said "Come with me." "Where are we going?" I asked. "Over here" as he took me across the hall. I was looking for more specifics.

We were taken into a room where we were asked more questions and filled out another form with the help of a young Chinese man that I assume was a medical student. This room was tiny, crowded with westerners, and hot, although it did have a fan!
Jeff was not allowed to enter and tried to call our guide who was expecting us. Finally, I learned that they thought Eliza might be sick and the young man tried to scan Eliza's forehead. She started to scream and cry. A woman in a military uniform insisted that she do it. I pleaded with her and she shouted in Chinese and slammed down her hand. I had obviously said the wrong thing. A kind woman offered her some water and I asked if I could give her a snack, which they allowed. She calmed and let me scan her forehead. The med student then said, "These aren't very accurate". We were taken to another room.

Here another masked woman who spoke almost no English asked me more questions. Was this my daughter? Had we been to Mexico in the last month? Has she been sick? We passed this test and were sent back to the doorway of the other room. While we stood and waited Eliza put her face just inches from the fan, opened her arms wide and grinned. Under normal circumstances I would have asked her to move back, but I remember thinking "Enjoy, sweetie!"

Again, the med student turned his attention to us. Eliza was seated in a chair and asked to put a thermometer under her arm. I worried about asking her to sit more and whether she could do it. I asked the kind lady who had been helping Jeff in the hall and getting us water if Eliza could have a treat. I got a sucker out for her and she relished it while having her temperature once again, and I remember thinking, "You can have all the suckers you want when we get out of here!"

Finally she passed! I was so proud of the way she handled herself! The med student gave us a piece of paper and said, "I think you are fine. Just keep this with you and take it with you to a hospital if you get sick."

We practically ran out of there, breezed through customs and immigration and on to get our luggage. Jeff had never gotten hold of our guide. When we finally met up she said, "Where were you? I have been waiting for you an hour." Ugh!

So there it was, our first few hours in China and I have to say all I could think about was going home. I wanted my baby and to go home. It is easy to romanticize an adoption trip, and there are certainly wonderful family moments. Truthfully, it is hard and we had known this from before, however the first time had been with few glitches and was a very different experience in many ways. Would I change what we did last year? Never. It only makes me appreciate my children and my husband more. One year ago today, we were on our way to China.

Seriously?

2010-04-08T13:58:00.002-04:00

I generally try to keep this positive. However, it is my blog and I can do what I want. It is also an adoption blog and the adoption experience lens is now the one through which I view most things. So with that in mind, here are a few things to which I have been saying "Seriously?" lately:

Today at our local elementary I was filling out a child information form while Eliza participated in kindergarten screening. One of the first questions on the form pertained to the family members with whom the child lives. A checked response was required next to the following options: Birth Mom/Dad, Step Mom/Dad, Foster Mom/Dad, Relative, Other. Hmmm? Are we "Others?" "Relatives?" I crossed out the word birth in the first option and checked that box. I have been making it my practice to change all registration and medical forms as necessary to fit the unique situation of my family. But really, I know plenty of adoptive families in this town and has no one found this offensive? Seriously? The U.S. government census form was better than this.

A recent issue of Scholastic Parent and Child Magazine had a collection of phrases you could say to your kids on April Fool's Day. Bold and centered was "The dog is adopted." Is this supposed to be funny? Someone tell me what is funny about adoption? I know, I am too serious and too sensitive.

A recent issue of Click magazine included a story titled "When You Grew in Mommy's Tummy". This was a harmless story about development with cute illustrations. However, in our house we felt it required some prereading conversation about birth, birth moms and adoption and wasn't appropriate for a broader audience. When Jeff shared our concern with the magazine, their response was less than what we had hoped for.

To all of this I say, "Seriously?" I hope for more from publications and institutions that deal with children and families. Not everyone's story is the same.

One Year Ago Today

2010-03-23T13:59:00.003-04:00

Wow, I'm a really bad blogger. I haven't blogged in 4 months and had no idea it had been that long. Life has been pretty busy between 2 kids, jobs, and lots of activities, but it has all been good. So the title... one year ago today we received a call from CCAI about Emerson. I was in complete shock when I answered my phone while in a fitting room.

To be honest, I had a premonition about getting the call that day. While driving to meet my friends I thought, "What if the call comes today?" and immediately told myself, "That is crazy. You are way back in the queue." and then tried to put it out of my mind. Before the day ended we were looking at Emerson's picture. And then the ball started rolling and hasn't stopped since.

What has happened in the past 4 months? Emerson had her first Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year in the U.S. She had surgery to remove her encephylocele and has recovered nicely. She still has some stitches on her scalp that I try to rub off when she is distracted or holding still, which is hardly ever. She has been growing and changing and is talking more each day. We are very thankful for her progress and thankful that her surgery went smoothly.

What's ahead? A preschool evaluation for Emerson and final decisions about the next school year; spring and summer fun outdoors; our 12 month post-placement visit and report; Emerson's baptism; a break from babysitting for Jeff! Before we traveled for Emerson we committed ourselves to having as few caregivers as possible with Emerson so that she attached well to us, especially the first 6 months. That meant we bathed her, changed her diapers (except at church where she always seems to have a BM!), fed her, etc. We've also spent lots of time talking, singing, reading books and doing all we can to increase her language skills. Jeff has spent a lot of time with both girls this year and is ready to get back to work. I am so grateful for all that he has done. In addition, this arrangement has really established a strong relationship between Jeff and Emerson and strengthened his relationship with Eliza. It has been a long year, but time that is just invaluable.

It's so hard to believe that we learned about Emerson one year ago, and equally as hard to imagine life without her.

Almost 6 Months

2009-11-23T21:14:00.002-05:00

It has been just over 5 months since Emerson joined our family and tomorrow evening we have our 6 month post-placement visit with our local agency. Why so soon into this sixth month? Well, with the holidays we wanted to be out in front because the report must go to China in January.

With tomorrow's visit in mind and this being Thanksgiving week, I have been thinking about all of the things for which I am thankful. Of course the things at the fore concern Emerson's amazing progress, so here is a little update on her.

First, a brief look at where we started: very unsteady walking with frequent falls; floppy muscle tone - like dressing a rag doll; leg stance wider than her hips, no words - not even in Chinese, no real babbling sounds; lots of screaming, yet happy to be with us, loved music from day one, and she could stack several blocks, but she would cry when they fell down. She looked really surprised the first time we knocked some down and laughed. She had never used any utensils and or been fed much solid food.

Anyway, today she is: running full force and falling like any typical kid, her legs are in a normal stance, she gets up easily, climbs all over the furniture and loves to scare her parents by standing on a Step 2 chair and grinning; she zips after someone starts it for her, but attempts to do it herself; she can put on her own pants, her shoes and tries to put on her socks; she is walking up stairs with one hand held and will try to go it alone with the railing; she says about 50-60 words (I need to update my list) and is putting 2 words together; she feeds herself and begs us to give her a regular cup; she loves to buckle; she stacks 8-10 blocks; and I could go on and on.

Her new thing today was moving the bathroom stool around the kitchen to all of the counters and the sink and then standing on her tiptoes to peer at things. She looked amazed that she could actually see what was on the counters and look into the sink without being held. What a grin! Fortunately she has been trying to climb into her crib instead of out at naptime so we feel pretty safe for now!

We are so thankful that she is growing and changing and is happy. She loves all of us (she signs it and says some of the words) and we love and adore her. Eliza drew a picture in school of our family on a bus with lots of buildings around. Her teacher had written what Eliza had said, "I am happy that I go to China and get my baby sister." We are so happy too.

Happy Thanksgiving and may you see the blessings around you as we enter the season of Advent.

Catching up

2009-10-26T22:27:00.002-04:00

I should not be blogging at the moment. I have 4 loads of laundry to fold and should be going to bed soon. But all these blogging topics keep flying around in my head, and I really should get them down before I completely forget. I couldn't access our blog while in China - it was blocked - and so have had some catching up to do, for several months now. After looking over the first post I wrote after returning home, I have decided to begin working from the bottom of the list with a funny story, because I need funny today.

"Mommy, people laugh the same," said a grinning Eliza as we browsed the luggage department at a Beijing department store. We had packed just 2 suitcases, and several carry-ons for our trip, trying to stuff all of our travel belongings, medical supplies, gifts, donations, necessary documents, baby supplies, clothes for 2 children, toys, a couple of books, some snacks and items to occupy a four year old on two 14 hour flights (not to mention all the other sitting around and various other flights we took to and in China). (I guess I'm hitting on another topic here, traveling with a preschooler.) Needless to say, our bags were not going to make the in-country weight limit in China. So rather than risk a fine and holding up our group, we opted to buy a third suitcase.

A large department store was right around the corner from our hotel. All of the department stores we have been in while in China have grocery stores on the basement level, and then typical departments for clothes, cosmetics, etc. on the upper levels. This particular store was the same, but did not have very large departments. The luggage department was about the size of our family room and had about 6 attendants (one for every 4 square feet?) This is also very typical. With so many service people available, shoppers get lots of personal attention, certainly a little too much sometimes. Our interest in luggage got us lots of attention, especially since we were the only caucasians in sight, and we had a little Chinese girl with us - we got lots of looks everywhere, but that is another story.

Within seconds young women were opening bags for us, demonstrating the quality and quantity of zippers, making sure we saw how much space they had, and how many compartments were available in any bag at which we happened to glance. One woman took the lead and showed us a few bags while her colleagues watched all of us. I smiled and repeated, "I want to look around, I want to look around. Thank you." I said it another time while pointing at my eye, "Look", moved my finger in a circle, "around". "Ahhhhh, (something I don't remember in Chinese) they seemed to say in unison and they all laughed.

"Mommy, people laugh the same," said my wise 4 year old daughter. We had been in China about 48 hours and had had our share of language issues when trying to order food, find a contact lens case, understand our flight seatmates, and the list goes on. It amazes me still that even though Eliza knew we were having difficulty communicating with these sales people, we could all laugh the same. It interested me too, to see her realization that we were in a place where she appeared to fit in and we were the ones who didn't.

Another great observation from my daughter: when we finally landed in our home airport - after 30 hours of travel following our hotel departure - one of the first things Eliza said was, "Everyone here looks different." Hmmm...a topic for another day.

Henan Kids International

2009-09-17T13:23:00.002-04:00

A few months ago a number of parents who have adopted through CCAI decided to start an organization to support kids in Henan Province, China. CCAI is working very hard to place special needs children in from this province, the largest and also one of the poorest in China. Our little Emerson is from LouHe, Henan and was cared for in the Lily Orphan Care Center there that opened in early 2008. Today I received a newsletter from the dedicated volunteers who are working hard to find sponsors and supplies for the children who are waiting, or may never find forever families.

I would like to send some clothes and toys to CCAI to send over before the end of the year. If you would like to contribute - they especially need gently used items for children ages 0-12 months - please send items my way.

To learn more about Henan Kids International, please see the link on my page.

Thanks!!

A Summer Full of Firsts

2009-08-13T15:08:00.003-04:00

I hardly know where to begin and can't believe I haven't posted in over a month. Where has the time gone? We have been very busy with medical appointments, birthdays, short trips, lots of outdoor fun and many "firsts" for Emerson.

She had her first doctor's appointment here at home, along with her first 5 shots. Fortunately all of her labs for fun parasites came back negative (no yucky meds!), and soon she will have her first blood draw here in the U.S. (Some firsts are more fun than others).

She then had her first visit to the neurosurgeon, an all day affair. He is a very busy guy and we waited 2 hours to see him. I can't say it was a long or very informative visit, just a formality before scheduling her MRI which she had 2 weeks later. The MRI day was not a fun ordeal - leaving home at 6, having sedation, being crabby afterwards. However we had a fantastic nurse who was with just our family the entire time and we hope she is our nurse if/when we return to that department. Emerson managed through the whole thing amazingly well. We were amazed by the MRI images and the fact that we were able to see the doctor 40 minutes early - thanks to that wonderful nurse. What did we learn? Emerson has a fluid filled myelocele on the top of her head that the doctor wants to remove in a few months. No reason for the delay other than to save her from more trauma in these early months with us and to allow her more time to settle in. We go back in December to make plans for surgury in early 2010.

Emerson had her first, second, third and fourth visits from our county early intervention team. They have been amazing. I called them the day after our appointment with the pediatrician and they were out the next week, and have seen us each week since. Emerson qualifies for services due to the myelocele and has delays in a few areas. We have been very pleased with the recommendations we have received and she began with consultative services today. I was shown how to play with her in ways that will help her communication, balance, and build strength in her arms and hands. Everyone who has seen her has been very pleased with her eye contact, social interaction and immitating, so we feel confident that she will make good progress.

A first birthday at home! Emerson turned 2 last month and didn't have a clue what was going on. She is still learning how to unwrap presents and was much more interested in the boxes and bags than any of the toys. Why does that stage not last longer?

Emerson also had a first family trip and ferry ride across Lake Erie, as well as a first encounter with my crazy extended family. We weren't sure how she would do away from home with a crowd of people, but she actually did quite well. She watched as her cousins and sister played Highland Games and even wore a little plaid sash! Too cute!

The other night she took her first ride in a bike trailer. We bought a second small trailer for me to pull and each girl had her own ride. Again, I thought she might freak out, but she loved wearing her helmet and riding along so much that she wanted to get in again the next day.

How are things in general? Emerson is a very happy girl. The child who once cried each morning, with each diaper change, and with each bath now grins when we go in to her each morning, says "diapa" and a giggles during changes, and dances excitedly beside the bath tub. One evening after we had been home a couple of weeks Eliza stuck her head into the bathroom while I was rinsing Emerson's hair and said, "Why isn't she screaming?" What a change. She is so much fun and we are having a ball. She has even stopped eating non-stop when there is food anywhere in sight - so many signs that she is feeling more secure.

How is Eliza? She has calmed down a lot. I think I can say that we are seeing more typical sibling behavior - grabbing toys, hitting, shoving - and also giggling and lots of silliness at mealtime. She was in fight-or-flight mode for almost a month - hyper, very easily excited and angered, and very controlling with all of us. Do we still see some of this sometimes? Yes, but not as much. This relates to my earlier post about adopting a toddler when you have an adopted preschooler. Some day I will expand on this when I have more time. I also have made a reading list of helpful books for adoptive families.

Okay, I'll end this here. If you read the whole thing, thanks. I'll try to post more often, though make no promises about what will happen once the school year kicks off!

It's good to be home

2009-07-05T14:58:00.003-04:00

So if you didn't catch my emails or facebook updates, you have probably been wondering if we actually went to China or what happened to our adoption. Well, I could not access my blog at all while in China. I believe the government was blocking most major blog sites like blogspot following the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square uprising of 1989. We have now been home for over a week and I have a lot of catching up to do. I have been meaning to blog each day - I really want to - but with the time change, laundry, little cleaning I have done, and oh yes, getting used to having another child in our home who has some big adjustment issues to deal with, I just haven't found the time or energy to blog.

We did get out for the second time yesterday and attended the 4th of July parade in our hometown. We even ate lunch at the fair and Eliza rode a couple of rides. Emerson did pretty well all things considered. Though a bit of a fussy child, she is not one to shed tears when we are out in a crowd. Instead I think she turns inward and goes to her happy place and waits for the next opportunity to eat.

How is she doing? Pretty well really. She is sleeping well, trying lots of new foods, playing with toys and wants to go outside and play on the driveway whenever she can. Her walking is improving every day, as is her overall muscle strength. Yesterday she was attempting to climb on the couch! She wants to walk up and down the stairs and get on her little trike by herself. We are thrilled that she is gaining independence and appears to want to do so much. She likes to say "hi," "bye-bye," and attempts to repeat other words as well.

Tomorrow she has her first appointment with the pediatrician and we will hopefully schedule an appointment with the neursurgeon. We are very eager to start medical evaluations and just see what is going on with the bulge. It does not appear to bother her at all and we keep seeing more and more signs that her development is improving greatly just from the change in environment.

Well, I do have some specific topics I hope to address eventually including:

- Our temporary quarentine, or "Trip to Bizarro World"

- Dining in China with a 4 year old

- Sibling rivalry 2.0 for those with adopted preschoolers who are adopting toddlers

- Flying half way around the world with a preschooler

- "Mommy, people laugh the same."

Almost ready to go

2009-06-07T20:17:00.003-04:00

We are almost all packed and ready to leave. We've also been trying to get the house ready for Emerson's arrival. Bringing home a new child makes you want to nest a bit and clean things out. We cleaned out our garage on a recent afternoon and Eliza organized her own system for washing her toys - no help from the grown-ups.

We would like to thank everyone who contributed to our "Just One Dollar" Fundraising efforts. We raised $80! In a recent newsletter, as well as in our travel group conference call, CCAI noted that orphanages in Henan would appreciate donations of plastic toys and cotton clothing. Given the size of our donated funds, Jeff and I thought we could manage spending that amount and directly donate some items. We also felt this would provide Eliza with something tangible to give in a meaningful way. So on Saturday morning the 3 of us went to Target and purchased small cotton onesies, caps, teethers, and rattles to take along with us. We will give the items to LouHe reps when we complete Emerson's adoption paperwork on Tuesday, 6/16. Thank you for making this donation possible!

So we're off. We'll be flying the Friendly Skies at 6:50 Tuesday morning. The long leg of the journey to China begins at 12:22 that afternoon. Pray that we all sleep and keep our sanity!

Travel Dates

2009-05-30T11:33:00.003-04:00

After a crazy and confusing couple of hours yesterday, we have our travel dates! We are leaving the morning of June 9 (flying to Dulles in DC, then onto Beijing)and will arrive in Beijing the afternoon of June 10. We'll fly to Henan on Sunday, June 14. Our consulate appointment in Guangzhou is on June 24, and we leave China on June 25 to arrive home late the evening of June 25 (of course it will be the following morning in China). Our in-China arrangements will be made early next week, so we have no other details at this time. Lots to do, but we are extremely excited!

TA!!!

2009-05-27T15:47:00.001-04:00

We received our Travel Approval today and have been given a CCAI travel group number! Our travel dates will be finalized when we receive confirmation of our consulate appointment, but we have been told again to expect around June 10. We are very excited!

Should be traveling soon!

2009-05-26T18:06:00.002-04:00

Today we got a call from CCAI's travel department. They do not have our TA yet, though expect to get it within the week. Basically their rep went over a bunch of travel questions with me, things related to getting ready to travel, hotel accommodations, airline reservations, etc. She said that the group they are currently planning for, which includes us, will probably depart on June 10 and return June 25, 26, or 27, depending upon when our consulate appointment is scheduled (they are going to try to make it for 6/23).
I hadn't started our visa applications, so quickly did that this afternoon and overnighted them to Chicago. Now this feels very real! We should be on a plane 2 weeks from tomorrow!

Emerson update

2009-05-18T18:13:00.000-04:00

We got updated information about Emerson this evening. She is happy, healthy and growing. She has 17 teeth! Check out her sandals and pigtails! We can't wait to go meet her!!

More waiting...

2009-05-18T14:41:00.000-04:00

Today marks 3 weeks since we got our Letter of Approval. We expect our TA any time now and are very anxious. Waiting...waiting...

Just one dollar

2009-05-08T14:12:00.000-04:00

The last time we adopted several members of our travel group participated in a drive to raise funds for our children's orphanage. Jeff and I chose not to participate due in part to how generous everyone had been with us even before our referral. We felt that asking for anything else was just too much.

This time we feel we have an abundance of things for our home, and so want to focus more on giving. We would like to establish a fund through our adoption agency's outreach program so that we can give something back to the place where Emerson has spent the first 2 years of her life.

Our adoption agency, Chinese Children Adoption International, or CCAI is based in Denver and places more children from China than any other US agency. It also does a tremendous amount of outreach, and for nearly 2 years has been doing a great deal of work in Henan, Emerson's home province. We would like to support their efforts.

Therefore, we are asking that anyone who feels moved, to send us just $1 to put toward starting a fund with CCAI. With $350 we can open our own giving fund. This is the minimum amount necessary for setting up the fund, due to the amount of paperwork CCAI must do, as well as the specific orphanage to which we want to give. The receiving orphanage is required to present documentation of how the funds were used. Once a fund is established, contributions can be made directly through CCAI's website to our specific fund.

If we do not raise enough to start our own fund, we would like to donate the money to support the Lily Orphan Care Room in Louhe SWI. The Lily Orphan Care Rooms are sponsored by CCAI as a way to offer the infants in the orphanage a healthy start.

For more information about CCAI's giving programs and the Lily Orphan Care Program, please visit CCAI's site from the link on the left.

If you would like to donate, please email me privately or through Facebook.
Thank you!!!

One step closer!

2009-04-28T14:15:00.001-04:00

Yesterday we received word from CCAI that they had gotten our Letter of Acceptance from China! They overnighted it to us, we signed it today, and it will go out to them this afternoon. Now we wait from Travel Approval. We could be traveling in 5-8 weeks (currently cancelling all plans for June).

Jeff and I are in a state of shock, and how house is not in the state we thought it would be just a few weeks before travel, but oh well. May is always a crazy month for us, and this just adds to all of that. We are very willing to take on that extra craziness though, if it means we get to travel that much sooner than we had expected.

What's next? Another pile of paperwork and visit with our friendly notary, lots of packing lists, a visit to the ped. for Eliza and some shopping trips. Oh, and some cleaning and organizing, and laundry. Oh, and exams, and tests, and grading...

We are so thankful that this will be our timeline, and thankful that we will have the summer with our newest addition before fall kicks into gear!

BTW I removed the photo from Eliza's hand after taking the picture - didn't want her eye to get scratched. She wanted to hold that picture at bedtime and fell asleep like that. Too precious.

We have Pre-Approval!

2009-04-14T15:46:00.000-04:00

We received our Pre-Approval for adopting Emerson today - exactly one week after it was submitted to the CCAA. Now we just wait for our Letter of Acceptance from China, then our Travel Approval. Hopefully this just takes about 4 months.

My mind has been filled with all the things we need to do. Things to pack, shots for Eliza, things to stock-up on, rearranging the girls' bedroom and all the toys we have. Ah!!! So exciting and so much to do. I think these months will pass quickly, at least I hope so.

Big News!!

2009-04-03T14:17:00.000-04:00

We are happy to announce that we have accepted a child! Here are the details on the cutie pictured above:

Name: Xu Yi Cheng - soon to be Emerson Yicheng
D.O.B.: 7/21/07
She is in Louhe SWI in Henan Province, China

We received a call from CCAI's Waiting Child department on Monday, March 23. Actually, I got a call while trying on clothes in Ann Taylor Loft while shopping with some friends. Deniece from CCAI asked if I had some time to talk with her and I said I would make time. She then told me that if I was driving I should pull over!

Our conversation began with her saying that the little girl she was calling about had a need which was not one we had listed on our MCC, and in fact CCAI had never had a child with this specific condition before. Things continued from there as I dug in purse for something to write with and nervously took notes. I have no idea exactly how long we talked in the fitting room, but a few sales people came to check on me as well as my friend Ellen, so I think it was a while. How great that I was with Ellen and Shari and could celebrate!

Deniece emailed Yi Cheng's information to us, along with some pictures and Jeff, who was home with Eliza (what a guy - he watched her so I could shop!) opened my email and so saw her before I did. We were excited, because we really didn't think we'd hear anything before June based on where we thought we were on the WC list with our agency (about 20 people ahead of us). We also weren't really sure why we were the ones who got the call for this child - a question we have returned to repeatedly since then. Last fall I had inquired about a couple children on the website who had menengiceles (related to spina bifida), and this child's med. form was calling it a menengicele as well as a congenital bulge on the posterior fontanelle.

I drove all of the info to our ped's office Tues. morning and the waiting for a response began. Wed. morning I spoke with the doctor and the first thing she asked me was if I had more information. She was pretty concerned about the reports we'd gotten, so our initial excitement turned to feelings of uncertainty, disappointment and fear. This was followed by several sleepless nights, late night conversations, and tears as we tried to get more information about Yi Cheng, and to find out all we could about what this might be and how it might impact our family.

Louhe was quick to provide more information to CCAI, although not all that the doctor really wanted. However our ped. was finally able to share what we had given her with a neurosurgeon, and he felt this situation could have very positive outcomes. The MRI report from China showed that Yi Cheng's brain was developing normally, and although she does have typical institutional delays, she is making appropriate progress. He felt that she might not need surgery, although we are open to that possibility and will deal with things as they come. He diagnosed her with a congenital midline closure defect and has had other patients with this condition. He put my mind at ease! Throughout this process we have prayed that we could be open to whatever need was presented to us, and that the medical professionals around us could give us help in deciding what to do. We certainly feel very blessed.

We are just thrilled to have Emerson Yicheng join our family in the coming months. Eliza wants to go get her now and we know that waiting 3-5 more months will be hard on her. But right now we have lots to do and think about and know that the time will probably go faster for the grown-ups involved!

BTW - the baby elephant was born Friday, March 27. (See earlier post)

Check out the links

2009-02-24T15:49:00.001-05:00

Check out the links on the left to see a couple of videos. Our Adoption Trip 2005 video is at this site.

Something that came my way...

2009-02-24T13:43:00.001-05:00

This came to my inbox via COFCC today. Made me laugh and cry...

You Might Be Adopting From China If......

~You know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways....
~You've been expecting a baby for over 3 years....
~You understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world....
~You've "paid for" 3 citizenships, but never brought anyone into the
U.S....
~You know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Macy's or dishes..
~Your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4)...
~You never know how many days next month will have...
~You know that babies come in batches...
~You've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime...
~You automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl...
~You own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you
don't know when or how big)...
~You look twice when you see a lady bug...
~You're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in
March 2009...
~You know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5
day months...
~Your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years...
~You know who the Rumor Queen is ... AND ... you don't know who she is...
~You know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather...
~You've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if
they changed...
~Trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your
own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles...
~When you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA
updates & referrals...

And finally...You might be adopting from China if you love someone
you've never met with all your heart

A New Year

2009-01-24T20:51:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it has been 2 months since my last post. I have been waiting all month to post - wanting to add something in the new year, but not having any news to share. Sure there is a lot I could share about my oldest daughter - the first pea in the pod. We are still waiting for a word about that second sweet pea. The most I can say is that it will take longer than we thought. Yesterday marked one year since our Medical Conditions Checklist was accepted. At that time we were told the wait in the Waiting Child/Special Needs program would be 10-12 months. I had secretly been hoping that we would definitely hear by now, and really wanted to hear something before the end of the year. The latest news from the Yahoo board for our agency's WC program is that it will more likely take 14-16 months. End of March to May? Will that change to June or July? Our agency isn't saying anything about expected timelines anymore - it all depends on who else in the queue is waiting for a child with a similar profile. Once we accept a child, it will be an additional 3-5 months before we travel. Oh well, that is better than waiting another 2 years or more.

My attitude about the wait continues to change from week to week, or day to day, and it isn't always very positive as seen by my last post.

What to do while we wait? Try to enjoy this precious time with Eliza, try to be patient, try to be mindful and present in the things that I do. But somedays it is so hard, and Eliza continues to catch me off guard with her questions and comments. Yesterday while we were in the car, she was talking about her new big girl car seat and talking about where baby sister will sit. Then she counted how many people would be in the car, counting to four, then saying "When baby sister gets here we will have 4 people to play the Ladybug Game. I'll have to tell her to not put the aphids in her mouth though."

This morning we were talking about our friends who have twins and a friend who is newly expecting twins. Eliza said, "I want you to have twins in your belly!"

Mommy, "I'm not growing a baby in my belly, remember? We are going to adopt a little sister."

Eliza, "I want to adopt 16 babies."

Mommy, "Oh, we'll need a bigger house. Where will they all sleep?"

Eliza, "In the family room."

Mommy, "Where will you sleep?"

Eliza, "In the bunkbeds. We will have lots of bunkbeds."

Mommy, "Hmmm. We'll need to tell Daddy."

Somehow I don't think Daddy will go for the plan. Oh well, she keeps trying to bring home more kids. She wants that bunkbed, yet I don't think she will be really keen on sharing her room at first. Oh well!

When are we going to get baby sister?

2008-11-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

We hear this question almost daily from our daughter, even though we rarely bring it up in front of her. She says something about it everyday, and somehow it echos what is on my heart, things I just can't say and try very hard not to think about. How do I act like it is the most natural of questions or hide my feelings? Sure this wait is endless in the mind of a 4 year old, but most days it seems pretty endless to me.

Back in July I visited the zoo with a friend who also has a daughter adopted from China. Her daughter is just 2 weeks younger than Eliza, and our stories have followed a similar path. We became friends while attending Resolve support group meetings, have supported one another, and celebrated our families together. Anyway, we were visiting the elephants when a zoo volunteer was said that they hoped to have another baby elephant within the next year or two and mentioned the length of an elephant's gestational period. "Just think," she said, "you could have 2 children in the time that an elephant has one!" My friend and I exchanged knowing glances over our children. "Not if you're adopting from China," I said quietly and we laughed. The elephant is now pregnant. We are both still waiting.

For those of you interested in such things, here is our families timeline:

Date of application approval: Feb. 9, 2007
LID: June 12, 2007
Acceptance of Medical Conditions Checklist (MCC) at CCAI: Jan. 23, 2008
Extension of I-171H: October 2008

When are we going to get baby sister? I just don't know.